I always thought I’d die of a broken heart.
I know her name, but never got her number. But she’s the one who told me in that special, emotionless way only doctors can.
“Incomplete right bundle branch block and left axis-anterior fascicular block … ABNORMAL … Have a nice day.”
Let me catch you up.
On Wednesday morning, I had a physical. Just the usual yearly exam because I’m old and I’m fat, and by the law of doctors who buy boats – lots of boats – we should have a yearly physical exam.
So I did. I slapped down my donation to the SS Stupid Patient and walked into the exam room.
I said “ahhh” and went through the usual rigmarole. Temperature was good, blood pressure was good enough. Eyes. Ears. Reflexes. Finger up the butt (My mother always wanted me to date a doctor!) Everything was fine.
The EKG was the one that did me in. For now.
It came back abnormal. Another word for broken, as far as I’m concerned.
My sense of humor? That’s abnormal!
My devotion to my work life over my social life? That’s abnormal!
The fact I listen to Lorde and think Niall Horan’s “This Town” is a good song. That’s abnormal, too.
But my heart?
The end is near.
Maybe. (Or not really.)
I don’t know.
Like I said it’s hard to tell with these doctors, many of whom come off as if they don’t really give a shit if you live or die because, well, let’s face it… the next sick person – ka-ching, ka-ching — is sitting out in the waiting room.
I turned to Dr. Google for my second opinion and found the medical words that were on my EKG are also known as Bifascicular Blocks.
After that, it’s a whole bunch of medical jargon about the electrical system of the heart. It might as well have been geometry to me, that’s how far it was over my head.
But I did learn, it could be very serious.
Or it may not be.
But since it’s heart related it is definitely kind of important.
After all, there are 525,600 minutes in a year. And if my average resting heart beat is 75 beats per minute … well, you do the math.
Like I said, it’s pretty important.
The one thing the doctor did say to me that shocked me was that it showed up on my last EKG, only that doctor – a different doctor – never said anything to me about it.
That was more than three years ago.
I’ve been walking around with a broken heart for more than three years and a doctor knew about it and refused to tell me?
I want to be so angry, I’d explode, but I’m trying to keep my heart rate down … you know, just in case.
So I’m getting referred to a cardiologist.
That’s the next step.
Broken-hearted, I’ll try to get through another day until I learn more.