Thank you very much, I’ve figured out where we all went wrong

Earth-on-FireThe world is on fire. Don’t believe me? Look around you. Or just turn on the television.

Buildings burn and livelihoods are lost in Ferguson, Missouri, over an incident most of us couldn’t begin to understand unless we were one of two people who lived out that fateful moment.

Last night, in New York City, protestors were allowed to stop traffic at will on the West Side Highway, or shut down the Lincoln Tunnel, because a jury of their peers came up with a decision they didn’t like.

We still have terrorists planning to kill us, let’s not forget that. They just need to figure out a way to do it before Global Warming takes us all out in 2020. Or is it 2025? I’ve lost count because I’ve lost interest.

There’s no way out of this quandary either because our leaders have no interest in leading. Those down in Washington, D.C., those put there by us because we’re willing to accept their nonsense and do nothing, are as bad as the Crips and the Bloods. They stand on opposite sides of a line, hating each other simply because of what they’re supposed to believe.

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s not forget we live in a world where a man with serious mental health issues is allowed to walk into an elementary school less than 20 miles from where I live and kill 26 innocent angels … and we as a country — No, we as a world, stand by and say, “We should do something.”

Only we do nothing.

Why should we? The latest episode of “Scandal” is on at 9 p.m.

I bitch and I moan this morning because I can. And I do so because my fingers are able to pound away at a keyboard, at better than 60 words a minute, venting with each key stroke.

Sure, I could walk up to my local convenience store, loot it and burn it down, because from what I’ve seen on television that’s allowed when your upset about something.

I was just there at that convenience store-slash-deli not more than an hour before this writing.

I stood at the register — a 24-ounce coffee cooling off next to a 33.8 ounce bottle of cold water that was warming up — as I waited for the cook to finish my morning egg and cheese sandwich.

A man walked up behind me with two coffees in his hands and set them down on the counter next to my stuff. I told the cashier to ring him out first since I was still waiting on the sandwich.

The gentleman didn’t even look my way. He paid his $4 and change, picked up his two coffees and walked out the door.

Not even a simple “Thank you” for allowing him to cash out first.

I don’t know where it came from, but I was livid. I felt it rise up inside me as I stood there, passing the Internal Anger Measure Counter of Disgruntled, shooting past the Boy I’m Angry and topping out at Oh My God, I’m Fucking Pissed.

Thank you. Two words. Common courtesy. Somebody did something nice for you — he saved you 45 seconds out of your day — and you can’t offer up eight letters that make up two simple yet important words.

Well I have two words for you sir, which will sink me even below your standard of human decency, but I don’t care.

Fuck you, stranger! How’s that?

And it only took me seven letters to sum up your act of mind-less, since you were too good to thank somebody for allowing you to get in front of them and pay first.

I wanted to run out that door and follow him. I wanted to confront him for his act of morale cowardice. Did his parents raise him to be stupid and rude, or was it something that he taught himself? I wanted to beat my hands on the hood of his car, screaming at him that his lack of civility should no longer be allowed in a world that seems to be falling apart at the seams.

That’s when it hit me. As much as I wanted to hit him, it was the obvious truth that hit me.

In the world of sports, when a team is struggling and failing, what is the cliche that the coach always falls back on?

“We need to get back to the fundamentals.”

Our world is failing. In a big way. If it’s halftime, we’re down five touchdowns, folks. Simply put, we’re screwed. We’re going to lose.

But if it is halftime, and if they can score five touchdowns in one half, then why can’t we?

We just need to get back to fundamentals.

Please. Thank you. Yes sir, no ma’am. Let’s just start by showing each other some respect.

We live in a world where we have created such a complicated mess that we are seeking an equally complicated answer to fix it all.

Why can’t we just simplify it? Why can’t we just show each other some manners, do the little things to show each other that we have the slightest respect for each other and what we’re all going through.

If another car lets you pull out in front of them, wave at them. If somebody is walking up behind you as you walk into the building, hold the door.

And if somebody lets you cut in front of them at a convenience store, why not just turn your head 45 degrees and offer up two words that can change both of your days and moods.


Thank you.


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