When Words Cost You A ‘Friend’

It was a birthday-wish gone awry, I suppose. And it cost me a friend.

Well, a “Facebook Friend” — which in the 21st century is somewhat of a status symbol amongst certain people who click accept, accept, accept at every request that comes in from their friend’s second cousin’s boss’ next-door neighbor.

I’m not quite like that. My Facebook friends list is certainly filled with “friends” past and present but there is also some social-networking side of things that I have going, as well. Midway through last week, it was at a steady 306. Then, one morning, I noticed it went down to 305.

It didn’t take me long to figure out who it was. I typed in two words and saw that I needed to “add” this person as a friend, which meant she had un-friended me 48 hours after I shared countless memories of her via an open birthday wish that I penned right here.

She had thanked me for the words I had wrote, which she admitted had brought back some nice memories she hadn’t thought of in years. She also said she found it “invasive” that I had shared it with her via her Facebook wall (a mistake, I now know) because it allowed too many people on her own Facebook page to see it. She understood that wasn’t my intention and I apologized profusely, but she said there were things in life she wanted to keep private and it appears I had over-stepped those bounds.

Thus, the cord has been cut a second time. A far smaller snip this time around. Like cutting a piece of thread, not sawing through a tree trunk of pain.

I’m not going to lie, though. It stung a little bit.

It bothered me that my words upset her so much that she felt she had to do that, no matter how trivial the entire Facebook thing can seem sometimes.

But then I remembered the long-ago uttered words of my therapist who said, “Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s them. It’s not all your stuff. It’s their stuff, too.”

“The October Weekend” is an outlet for me to write things outside of my job — a place to spew forth my opinions, my feelings, my comments, about things past, present and future. These words are mine, my feelings are true and honest and if readers can’t handle that then, well, I suppose they won’t be coming back.

One of things in my life that I find both positive and detrimental is my ability to embrace the past and not let go. That goes for great moments as well as the bad ones, and believe me folks, there’s plenty of both being dragged behind me like a car’s tied-on adornments on a wedding day.

If sharing some of them from time to time is wrong, then I guess I’m not going to be right anytime soon.

I’m sorry if I embarrassed her by sharing my memories that her birthday brought forth. I’m especially sorry if it caused any problems within her own world because that is the last thing I wanted to do.

And I’m sorry that I lost a friend — again — even if it was just a “Facebook Friend.”


One comment on “When Words Cost You A ‘Friend’

  1. John says:

    I think you were too detailed – names, dates, streets. Kind of an invasion of privacy. The story could have been told without. Which leads to the classic woman/age taboo. You just told the whole world she was 45 year old. Also may be interpreted by some as a public love letter. So wrong, wrong, wrong. I hear the emotions though.

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